Welcome to Journey To Conceive!

Posted on May 5, 2012 by Marga Vaquer

fertility community-journey-to-conceive-storkWelcome to Journey To Conceive, a fertility community for women trying to conceive (TTC). Here you will find inspiration, emotional support, and up-to-date information for your journey to motherhood. And because for some, it is an expensive journey, a portion of the site proceeds will be donated towards fertility grants.

At Journey To Conceive, we like to maintain a positive attitude while making lots of room for hope, disappointment, fear, joy… you know, the wide range of feelings that can take you for a ride! But the day you hold your sweet baby in your arms, it will be all worth it! Let’s make it good now too.

When I said to my husband, “It takes a village to conceive a child,” he jokingly responded, “That’s a lot of people in bed!” Of course, what I meant is that together we can make it better!

Satisfy your questions. Get inspired. Nourish yourself by giving and receiving support. A happier, more relaxed woman is irresistible to sperm!

Do not make the journey to conceive alone! :cry: JOIN US! :-D

Some things you can do: Bookmark this site ♥ Read, comment and share at the blog ♥ Subscribe to our RSS feed ♥ Come hang out at Facebook ♥ Follow us on Twitter ♥ Enter your email to receive tips and information ♥ Tell friends about JTC! ♥ Stay tuned for our membership site with a private forum coming soon ~ for some extra privacy and depth!

If you would like to know more about me, visit the About page. I would like to know more about you! I’m looking forward to meeting you, and I’m sending you much baby dust!

~Marga

Posted in Getting Ready To Conceive, Positive Attitude, Trying To Conceive - TTC, Welcome to Journey to Conceive | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Don’t Tell Me to Relax! Non-annoying Trying to Conceive Advice

Posted on April 4, 2012 by Marga Vaquer

TTC-trying-to-conceive-stressHas anybody ever told you, ‘Just relax!’ about your trying to conceive? Did their words just stress you out more?

This is one of the better articles I found on TTC and stress, written by Genevieve Morton, somebody “who’s been there.” Enjoy, and join the conversation by posting a comment below, or on our Facebook or Twitter pages.
How to YOU deal with TTC stress?

‘Don’t tell me to relax!’ Non-annoying trying to conceive advice from someone who’s been there…

Trying for a baby can be stressful enough with out people telling you to relax. Genevieve Morton looks at how best to cope.

With one in six couples experiencing problems when trying to conceive, Genevieve Morton, author of Bump and Grind – An A-Z Survival Guide for When You’re Trying to Get Pregnant looks at one of the hardest problems most women trying to conceive (TTC) face: stress!
R is for rela– don’t say it!

There is only one swear word in the TTC world – ‘relax’! Ugh, I can feel a shudder among you, fists clenched, lips pursed. There’s no denying there is nothing more irksome to the TTC community than when someone suggests that we relax in order to get pregnant. As if that’s the secret. As if that’s the one thing we haven’t considered. As if it’s as easy as that! It’s a slap in the face to anyone who has had the stress of trying to have a baby when all around you women are popping out of the nappy aisle at the supermarket with ‘Guess what? I’m pregnant! Again!’ Grrrrr.

How the R word makes us feel: Continue reading →

Posted in Baby Hopes, Fertility Information, Getting Ready To Conceive, Positive Attitude, Trying To Conceive - TTC | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Baby Hopes: An Inspirational Video

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Marga Vaquer

When the journey to conceive feels long and weary… keep the hope! And let others hold it with you.

I would like to share this 2-minute inspirational video that encourages a healthier body, connection with yourself, knowledge and taking charge of your fertility. Taking charge may simply mean increased knowledge and self-care for some, but also appropriate fertility testing and treatment for others. Like the video says:

“Sometimes you have to meet your miracles half way.”

How do YOU keep the hope? Is that something that just happens by itself, or do you need to be mindful in order to stay hopeful and positive? Please comment and share below!

Posted in Artificial Insemination - IUI, Baby Hopes, Getting Ready To Conceive, In Vitro Fertilization - IVF, Natural Conception, Positive Attitude, Trying To Conceive - TTC | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Conceive with Community Support AND Knowledge

Posted on March 10, 2012 by Marga Vaquer

fertility-community-journey-to-conceive-icon

Two things have proven very invaluable in my own journey to conceive: community support, and knowledge.

According to the U. S. Centers for Disease Control, “about 10% of women (6.1 million) in the United States ages 15–44 years have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant,” as of this writing.

Obviously, a woman struggling to conceive is not alone. Unfortunately, she often feels that way!

Especially when a woman has been trying to get pregnant unsuccessfully for a long time, feelings of shame and fear of judgement may arise. Other people’s comments and attitudes, while well meaning, could easily hurt her vulnerable hoping heart. Additional outside pressure and expectation is just one thing too many. While it can feel risky to share about your journey with others, it is even harder to be alone with it.

The antidote to isolation: Choose your support wisely! It is important to lean on a few loved ones that feel safe and supportive, but connecting with other women who are experiencing the same and understand it from the inside out is priceless. Find a local fertility support group or join a fertility community online, such as JourneyToConceive.com.

Knowledge is the other side of the coin. Hoping and well-wishing are great, but gathering the information you need to ensure you are not wasting precious time as the clock ticks away is equally important. Knowledge can be obtained though medical consultation and testing, books, and a wealth of online resources and information. As with everything, check your sources and get second opinions if needed.

I would love to hear your thoughts on Community Support and Knowledge. Please comment and share below!

Posted in Baby Hopes, Fertility Community, Fertility Information, Getting Ready To Conceive, Natural Conception, Trying To Conceive - TTC | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

What Makes A Baby: A Book for Kids Conceived All Kinds of Ways!

Posted on March 4, 2012 by Marga Vaquer

In this modern day and age, kids are conceived all kinds of ways.

What Makes a Baby is a modern children’s book by Cory Silverberg, author and sexuality educator, that explains where babies come from without leaving anyone out.

Why a book like this? As Silverberg describes:

[...] the truth is that more and more of us are acknowledging the help we get to bring children into our lives.  That help might be a doctor, fertility clinic, adoption or foster agency; it might be a turkey baster and a friend; it might be a sperm donor or a surrogate.  What Makes a Baby helps parents tell children a story about where they came from that isn’t just true for them, but true for everyone.

What Makes a Baby is having great funding success and will be out soon!

Would you buy this book for your kids or kids-to-be? Please leave a comment below, and share this post with others!

Posted in Artificial Insemination - IUI, In Vitro Fertilization - IVF, Natural Conception, Trying To Conceive - TTC | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Trying To Conceive: The Anatomy of Hope

Posted on February 25, 2012 by Marga Vaquer

ttc-trying-to-conceive-hope-fertility-infertilityManaging expectations when trying to conceive is not an easy thing. On the one hand, you do not want to hope, since the magnitude of hope is directly proportional to the magnitude of the subsequent disappointment, should the dreaded pregnancy test turn out negative. On the other hand, you cannot help but hope.

When I first heard someone say a long time ago, “Hope is dangerous,” I scratched my head. “What is wrong with hoping?,” I wondered.

Hope keeps the flame alive, and leads you to your desired destination.

Hope may be dangerous when it is blind, exploitative, or misleading, when it ignores aspects of a situation that need to be recognized or dealt with. As we know, realistic expectations are also important — although who defines “realistic expectations” is another conversation for a different day.

Dangerous or not, hope springs eternal. We keep on hoping, regardless of the odds. We hope for the best, even in the face of adversity. Hope silences those powerful authority voices, inner or outer: “Your chances of getting pregnant are slim”, “You will never be able to conceive this way”, “Have you thought of adoption?”

As award-winning journalist Giselle Fernandez beautifully described:

Hope is your choice over fear. A declaration to believe in the dream and silence the doomsayers. It’s a battle for the possible, a noble duel of the spirit to slay the dragons of despair that confront you.

Take a warrior’s stand. Make a choice to build your life on a grand and royal foundation. A foundation of hope, and the belief that you will fulfill your destiny—all you are born to be. Because you choose to empower that belief with every decision, every second of every day. Where our greatest opportunity for happiness is realized.

If living with hope is living dangerously, so be it. Is there any other way to be fully alive?

Hope creates life.

What is YOUR hope? We would love to hear it and support you through your destination. Please leave a comment below, and share this post with others!

Posted in Baby Hopes, Positive Attitude, Trying To Conceive - TTC, Trying To Conceive After A Loss, Two-Week Wait | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Conception: A Movie About Baby-Making, Sex, Love, and More

Posted on February 20, 2012 by Marga Vaquer

Why not make the wild journey to conception a bit more fun by sprinkling it, or even better, bathing it, in humor?

Here is some entertainment in the form of a romantic comedy about the stories of nine very different couples on the night they conceive. A great way to relax, or take your mind away from worry, hormonal symptoms or the two-week wait!

Conception is available now — You can watch it on Amazon Instant Video by clicking on this link:

Please leave a comment below if you would like to share your thoughts on the movie!

Posted in Artificial Insemination - IUI, In Vitro Fertilization - IVF, Natural Conception, Trying To Conceive - TTC, Two-Week Wait | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

The Power of Language: I Am Fertile

Posted on February 16, 2012 by Marga Vaquer

i-am-infertile-fertileClose your eyes and slowly say the words, “I am infertile.” Notice the feelings that arise. Say it one more time, and take note of the thoughts that come with it. Repeat it once more, and see what bodily sensations show up…
After that, say, “I am fertile.” Again, notice your thoughts, feelings and sensations. What differences do you find between the two rounds?

As I have learned in my work as a psychotherapist, labels or diagnoses can be extremely useful and relieving for some clients. They have the ability to synthesize a set of symptoms and simplify communication. They help some people understand why they feel the way they do, release self-blame, and access further treatment and resources. For others, a label feels limiting and puts them in a box that is difficult to crawl out of.

Trying to conceive with a label of “infertility” that denies the possibility of conception can be a challenge.

As Neuro-linguistic Programming, or NLP, teaches us, language is so powerful it can even change our brain chemistry! So ask yourself if being labeled as infertile is helpful to you and supportive of conception. Does it help you relax and do what you must to take care of yourself? Otherwise, hold yourself as fertile in your own eyes, and let the medical profession use the diagnosis as they need to.

Remember that infertility is medically defined as “the inability to conceive following one year of regular sexual intercourse without contraception or after six months if the woman is over age 35.  The definition also includes women who are unable to carry a pregnancy to live birth.”

Ironically, however, according to 2012 data released by an Australian study:

Almost half of women who said they’d been struggling to get pregnant for at least a year ended up having a baby despite not getting fertility treatment, in a new study from Australia.  That success rate was only slightly lower than in women who also reported trouble conceiving and opted for treatment with fertility hormones or in vitro fertilization (IVF).

Doesn’t this data suggest that we should take the infertility label with a pinch of salt? The diagnosis, by definition, does indicate that conception did not occur within a year, but does it confirm the existence of a PROBLEM, or the inability to conceive? Maybe, maybe not. I am not suggesting that you ignore important medical information. I am just encouraging you to be discerning with this information and to take charge of your experience.

The Australian study confirms that many women just need longer than the prescriptive one-year deadline for conception. Others may need medical help. So is it worth it to pour lots of money into conception immediately? It depends on your situation. Is it worth it to worry yourself crazy over a diagnosis of infertility? Definitely not!

So are you fertile or infertile? YOU make the call. In time, nature (with or without the help of technology) will reveal the rest.

Do YOU find the infertility label useful? I would love to hear your thoughts! Please leave a comment below, and share this article with others!

Posted in Positive Attitude, Trying To Conceive - TTC | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Trying to Conceive: A Watched Pot Never Boils

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Marga Vaquer

trying-to-conceive-ttc-watched-potTrying to conceive is like waiting for a pot of water to boil. Have you heard the proverb, “A watched pot never boils”? When I was researching the origin of this popular saying, I found the following explanation:

A pot will, in fact, boil even if you watch, but it will SEEM to take forever, and that is really the point of this amusing proverb. So if you must wait for something to happen, take your mind off the waiting by doing something else. It’s amazing how much faster ‘the pot’ seems to reach a boil.

The journey to conceive is just like that. The desire to get pregnant is so strong, a woman can hardly take her mind off it.

Struggling with the unknown, a woman can drive herself crazy over-analyzing every bodily sensation, obsessively looking up symptoms on the web, or taking early, inaccurate pregnancy tests. The two-week wait between ovulation and the long-awaited and feared pregnancy test is notorious for being particularly excruciating.

But the truth is, if the pot is going to boil, it will boil without your watch. While it is completely understandable to feel and act anxious (after all, it is ONLY the very most important thing in your life!), there is also a choice to make a conscious decision to manage that anxiety.

Here are some tips to manage the two-week wait:

1) Occupy your mind with enjoyable and relaxing activities: watch a funny movie, go out with your partner, complete a project, clean the house, take up a new hobby! 

2) Nurture your body: take a walk, do some yoga, schedule a massage, receive an acupuncture session.

3) Spend nurturing time with others: good friends, other women in fertility forums or support groups, children!

4) Listen to fertility meditation CDs.

5) Although sometimes a woman “just knows,” it is also easy to mistake and obsess over “pregnancy signs.” Accept you do not always know what symptoms mean. Some even suggest scheduling time daily to obsess, and giving it a break the rest of the day.

6) Contemplate enjoying the freedom from worrying about the uncontrollable. Consider trusting the outcome to a power bigger than you. Surrender to that power daily.

Do you have any other tips? Please comment and share below. We would love to hear!

A watched pot never boils… until it does!

Posted in Baby Hopes, Positive Attitude, Trying To Conceive - TTC, Two-Week Wait | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment